joomla 1.6

Russian surrogate mother

Friday, 19 August 2011 13:45

A surrogate mother in Russia didn’t give a child

Telling her story a couple Vadim and Oksana were noticeably nervous. A year has passed but they can’t come to their senses yet

Karina Kasimovskaya – 11.06.2011

An enterprising Olga got profit from a child twice: the first time having agreed to become a surrogate mother for rent. The second time, having convinced a rich Spaniard that it was his son, he believed and got married to her. Biological parents were in despair. Their boy was left with a woman who they had chosen to be the incubator!

While telling their story a couple Vadim and Oksana were noticeably nervous. A year has passed but they can’t come to their senses yet. Their long-awaited baby is growing somewhere in a foreign country. And the parents can’t even have a look at him!

A 40- year old Vadim and a 32-year old Oksana were dreaming about a child for many years. What only the spouses were not doing: undergoing through treatment both abroad and in the best clinics in Russia – everything in vain. In one of the hospitals they were advised to find a surrogate mother.

-In the Internet from a sea of advertisements we chose a 35-year old woman, Oksana is telling fingering nervously a corner of her blouse. - She seemed nice to us. We met, talked. And after communication we decided to entrust in her the birth of our baby. The “pros” were : she was a mature woman, had two children, understood what was ahead of her and needed the money. We thought that very woman would never show interest in our child!

We were paying 40 000 rubles a month

At the beginning everything was going smoothly. Olga became pregnant immediately after the embryo transfer. Rejoiced Vadim and Oksana rented a flat for the woman in Moscow to be supervised in an elite capital’s clinic. All the papers were signed, Olga was paid 40 thousand rubles a month and after the delivery we were to pay 350 thousand more. We equipped a room for a baby ourselves and were waiting impatiently for our baby to come to this world.

-Olga was willingly telling how the pregnancy was proceeding, we even went together to an ultrasound test, - Oksana is recalling. - All the expenses were on us. Besides 40 thousand she was constantly asking for money. Now her elderly son was unwell, then her daughter needed money for the kindergarten. Then she asked that a part of the promised sum we would give her before the child’s delivery. We fulfilled also that her request.

Was caught with a man

Though the first troublesome bells were ringing even at the beginning of the pregnancy. When Olga was at the third month of pregnancy, the spouses came to her flat without a prior notice. Some cultured and educated looking man was a guest of the surrogate mother.

-Olga’s belly was not evident yet, - Oksana is recalling. - When seeing us she at first became embarrassed, and then she said that it was her relative who was en route in Moscow and decided to pay a visit. We believed. Then several times we didn’t find her at home. It was not clear where Olga was, I became worried. She was telling lies about visiting courses for the future mothers in order to give birth easily. We should have used our heads while thinking, what courses, she had already two children! But we didn’t pay any attention to that.

When the spouses came to know that there would be a boy, Vadim, a mature man was jumping up to the ceiling!

-The husband has always been dreaming about a son, - Oksana is telling. He was sharing how he would teach him to play football, go fishing with him. He was simply obsessed with having a boy.

“The child will stay with me!”

Having come to know that the son had been born, the spouses rushed to the hospital at full speed. How astonished they were when they saw Olga breast feeding their son. Surrogate mother mustn’t even be shown the baby.

-I decided that the child would stay with me, - the woman announced looking into their eyes. – And the money I will be returning to you in parts.

-You can’t imagine what I went through when I had seen my son but he hadn’t been given to me, - Oksana was recalling with tears. - Olga kept on mentioning that we had no rights for the child.

The spouses didn’t start fighting; they were too cultured people for this. They thought they would persuade the surrogate mother to see them halfway. But after the discharge from the hospital the woman disappeared and her parents were silent like partisans. They were just repeating that Olya would reimburse all the spent money.

-We applied to the lawyer, - Oksana says. - He told that the law supported the surrogate mother. If she decided to keep the baby, not a single signed contract would help.True , she could be accused of swindling, as she had taken the money and hadn’t returned, and we could apply to court. But it was necessary to have all the receipts showing the expenses handy, to prove that the money was spent exactly on the surrogate mother. Alas, we hadn’t been keeping them.

She was giving birth to children to hold guys

Why does a surrogate mother need somebody else’s child? Perhaps, the woman has acquired love for the baby while bearing him? “ KP” met with Olga’s mother. Svetlana Vasilyevna handed her daughter in kit and boodle. I was listening to a story about an enterprising Samara citizen and flipping over in my thoughts. It is not just life, it is real Santa- Barbara!

Olga had been always dreaming about the prince on a white horse, better in a “Mercedes”. The criteria were distinct: the man must be well-off and older than her. She was spending all the scholarship and pocket money on wrap-arounds, was having a good time at restaurants and after graduating with difficulty from a trade college she got married at the age of 19. She gave birth to a child- what if the husband would decide to leave! Her chosen man met all the requirements. He had money, was 30 years old. He got increase on a career staircase very quickly and… abandoned a shallow- minded wife and left for Moscow. What for to have a simple woman from the provinces in Moscow? Olga was grieving after the divorce not for a long time. While the grandmother was taking care of a 5-year old grandson without a complaint, the daughter was “hunting” for the next candidate for the husband in restaurants and VIP- clubs. And she found: he was 12 years older than Olga and for the sake of the hot beauty he divorced his wife.

-Vladimir was nourishing and cherishing his daughter. He promised to marry her if she gave birth to his heir, Svetlana Vasilyevna recalls. - He had several beauty salons in Samara and a clothes shop in Moscow. I was happy for the daughter that she had snagged such a fiancé. At the beginning everything was going well for them. But Olga after the daughter’s birth became completely lazy: she wasn’t doing anything about the house, all days long she was running around shops and restaurants. Volodya got tired of that very fast.

Following the example of Olga’s first husband he also left for Moscow. Finally flinging off that he didn’t need her children, he said he had wanted a son and she gave birth to a daughter. Generally, another destiny’s kick! Well- off fathers were paying alimony every other time by small sums. Several months later even her own mother howled. Svetlana Vasilyevna presented her scampish daughter with an ultimatum: either that one finds a job or she will be moved to the street for a living and she will raise grandchildren without her. At that very time Olga decided to earn extra as a mother for rent. Some of her female friends wised Olga up to apply to the World’s Web. A childless couple was found quickly. They were Oksana and Vadim.

She was having affairs while being pregnant

Heigh ho , if only the spouses could have known about the plans of a sweet 35-year old woman with two children on hand. Olga, being already pregnant, was looking for a husband from abroad, hanging up on dating sites. “Fiancés” were suggesting their meetings in Moscow. And she, just in time, was offered to move to the capital by Vadim and Oksana. Soon a 45-year old Spaniard from Barcelona started looming in the horizon. The foreigner’s former wife had been treated for infertility for a long time, but she still couldn’t present him with an heir. And a brilliant plan matured in the woman’s head. To make the Spaniard believe that Olga’s child, namely Vadim and Oksana’s, is his. And he was persuaded! The foreigner, having known the news, was carrying her in his arms. And the enterprising Samarchanka kept on milking poor spouses as if nothing had happened. What if the Spaniard will come to his senses and leave her as the former husbands.

-Olga had to escape the deal’s frustration and give birth to a child. Only after that she was going to pin the biological parents down to facts that she wouldn’t give them the child, - the mother was telling about her daughter’s swindling. – Meanwhile she was processing a visa to Spain and was expecting a proposal from a potential husband!

When the surrogate mother understood finally that the Spaniard had been hooked, the child’s fate was decided.

-Nowadays Olya lives successfully with all the children in Spain, - Svetlana Vasilyevna continues. – She is expecting one more child, now surely from her husband, she doesn’t have need in anything and sends me money little by little to give it to the couple thanks to whose child Olya has settled her life.

Will Vadim and Oksana revenge on the surrogate mother for the deceit? It seems the couple hasn’t decided up to the very end.

- We feel sorry for Olga’s children. They are not to blame that they have such a mother, the spouses say. – But we will try to take our child back. He is ours biologically!

 

About Svitnev

According to the statistics every fifth couple in the world is infertile. And, if somebody can be cured, the rest are solving their problems with the help of the surrogate motherhood.

That is why the demand for this quite specific service is growing with every year.

What should be paid attention for, how not to become trapped by dubious Centers of surrogate motherhood and not get robbed of one’s hard - earned, without even hearing long-awaited child’s laughter in the household?

As Ukraine is a democratic country in the field of legislative aspects concerning surrogate motherhood, shady intermediaries, promising judicial support are gathering here as bees to the honey.

The company “Rosyurconsulting” is a Russian “monster” in the market of surrogate motherhood. Not long ago the firm has expended its boarders and showed up in Kiev under the name “Euroconsulting”. Seven –year experience, absence of too big scandals – it would seem, nothing to find fault with. But those who were “lucky” to become the clients of “Rosyurconsulting” couldn’t be the envied ones.

-The general cost of the program in the given firm ranges from 60 000$ to 100 000$,- Sergey and Iryna Matveevy are telling.- Moreover the payment is demanded in advance, there is no talking about any stages in payment. At that IVF procedures are not included into the sum, every such a procedure, besides the first one, is paid for separately. Surrogate motherhood programs are going for more than 4 years because of the pregnancy absence as a result of unsuccessful IVF attempts, plus constant state of uncertainty throughout these years. We come as hostages of the situation in case of the refusal to cooperate with this very firm, no compensation is foreseen. Thus, huge sums (for us as an ordinary middle class family) turn out to be wasted, time has been spent and, what is the most awful, - we lose hope with every passing day to have our own child.

But even with the positive outcome Russian legislative system doesn’t guarantee that genetic parents will get the child. This fact was proved in one of the interviews by the general director of the company “Rosyurconsulting” Konstantin Svitnev:

-Frankly speaking, according to our laws genetic parents have absolutely no rights. In our country the principle “a mother is a woman who gave birth” is in action. In accordance with the Family code of Russian Federation (cl. 4 art. 51) these people can be written in as the child’s parents only if the surrogate mother agrees. Surrogate mother can in fact use the child as an instrument of blackmail and extortion, to, for intense, significantly increase the sum of the “fee” – up to a three- room flat in Moscow. And if the surrogate mother decides to keep the child to herself, it is impossible to have an effect on her.

It turns out, the case outcome can’t be influenced by the company- intermediary. But the surrogate motherhood program must be paid by the parents-to-be in advance. It comes up that the chances to lose both money and long-awaited child are quite high.

In this context Mr. Svitnev’s personality is also of interest. According to the documents he is a member of Russian Association of Human Reproduction (RAHR), American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM), judicial expert of the European society of human reproduction and embryology (ESHRE). I sounds rather impressive but it is possible to buy such regalia for not too much and without problems – the prices are represented right on the sites of the organizations.

The company “New Life”, founded on the basis of Tbilisi International Health Agency, started its activity in Kiev last year. In the motherland this firm became scandalous in connection with the big issue about taking potential surrogate mother Maki Kadelashvili out to Turkey and making the woman become a prostitute. That was much written about by Georgian Mass Media, then the issue was hushed up and the firm relocated to the great spaces of Ukraine.

Such companies undermine reputation to a great extent of the Centers of surrogate motherhood working in the frames of the law.

-I have the information about other gross violations, - Tamara Khachapuridze, the director of the Georgian Agency of surrogate mothers says.- For example, in the contract, which this agency concludes with the surrogate mother, there is a clause, prohibiting her during the delivery to look at the baby even once. Otherwise she will have to pay a considerable fine. Moreover, not to the couple but to the agency. To my mind, similar clauses are added into the contract only to find an excuse not to pay a surrogate mother. And such violations are made numerous.

As explained by Tamara Khachapuridze, nowadays the director of “New Life” company has been deported from Georgia and what she is busy with in Ukraine can be just a guessing work.

“Biotex. Com” company is one more dubious enterprise born in Moldova, aimed at flat heads and foreigners. The company is registered in Chisinau city (Moldova) and in Kiev. All the contact information on their site is a phone number with Moldavian code and an e-mail address.

But then again, the company has already left its traces in Ukraine. The citizens of Spain are among the victims.

-We have been married for 12 years, we can’t have children because of my wife’s state of health, - Patrick Mirilski says. – We have made up our minds to use the surrogate motherhood program in Ukraine – it is cheaper there. We had been saving money for several years, found the company “Biotex” through the Internet and wrote to the e-mail address. A representative of the firm made an appointment in Lvov, in one of the cafes. The man promised to help us, with this he didn’t show us into the office, didn’t demonstrate any clinics, and instead asked to pay a significant sum of money in advance – supposedly for the future intermediary services in surrogate motherhood. After that he disappeared, the phones stopped answering- it became clear that we had been deceived.

In bordering on Moldova Romania the activities of this company got close interest from Mass Media. Romanian journalists, having introduced themselves as potential clients, decided to go through a developing attack both in Moldova and in Kiev. According to them the administration of the firm was acting rather strange – appointments were made exceptionally in catering outlets and they weren’t in a hurry to show their office. But then they gave all the details of companies and funds where the money was due to be sent. During the inspection the majority of them turned out to be inactive.

In some time after the publication of the article on the Romanian portal, the site of “Biotex” disappeared from the expanses of the world wide net. And then reappeared again, registered under the Ukrainian IP.

What, where, how much?

The flow of foreigners into the Ukrainian surrogate motherhood centers is explained in a simple way – here surrogate motherhood programs are the safest legislatively and are the cheapest in the world.

Taking into consideration the fact that surrogate motherhood is completely prohibited in the majority of the European countries, to become a member of a program in America will cost customers $120- 150 thousand, Russian centers of surrogate motherhood demand $ 60 – 100 thousand. In Ukraine a wide sphere of services, starting with a search for a biological mother candidacy and ending with obtaining papers for the new born baby will cost $ 25 – 40 thousand.

Calculating the financial aspects, it is necessary to take into consideration that in comparison with the Russian, the Ukrainian legislative system is the most “transparent” concerning rendering so delicate services. In the first place, according to the Ukrainian law customers apriori are considered to be the parents of the child, born by a surrogate mother. A woman, who has carried the baby, has no rights for him. And so a possibility of extortion and blackmailing of genetic parents with the idea of increasing one’s fee is completely excluded. In case of the precedents Ukrainian court will be on the side of genetic parents and a surrogate mother by judicial procedure can be deprived of the fee that she is due to be paid according to the contract.

The author : Dmitry Kovalev